SSA dinner

About a hundred Singaporean students (and some working people) at this dinner!


My table!

There were many surprising characters at my table, especially when it came to the games/skits. The quietest people are the funniest. ^^ We don't have major clowns but everyone's enthusiastic when it comes to participation~ I heard from some other tables that the people there are really dead and sian. So am glad that I was seated with interesting people =)


After dinner some of us went to Haagen Daz for ice-cream! Bryna suddenly suggested that the six of us do it the speed-dating style, since there were exactly 3 guys and 3 girls. Haha. I thought she was just kidding, but we ended up really rotating the guys around - ie we went through the different permutations of pairs to talk to. LOL. It was very funny when Weijie (specs guy) "buzzed" me out because I said I like to watch Spongebob. ^^ Had fun!

But seriously, if speed dating is going to be like this, I won't go for one even if it means I won't get married. ^^;;

Rain rain go away

You know, back in Singapore I used to like the rain, because it makes the weather so much cooler and the wet earthy smell in the air after the rain is totally refreshing. Now, here - the weather's usually chilly and dry, rain makes it cold and dank. My fingers feel like frozen lumps whenever I'm outdoors. The possible only merit about it is that the air's no longer so horribly dry.

It started raining yesterday morning. Drizzled through all evening and night. Bryna and I went shopping at this nice clothes shopping area五道口服装市场 - with lots and lots of clothes at good prices. Because of the rain, there were much fewer people and it was actually easier to bargain. When we came out, there was a massive traffic jam which went on forever. We tried to catch a cab but it felt like everyone in China suddenly decided that they want to take cabs. So we tried walking in the direction of school, hoping to catch a cab somewhere along the way or find a bus stop. We found the bus stop indeed. Bryna hopped on a bus to go somewhere else, while I waited for the bus that goes back to school.

The wait took me 1/2 hour before the bus finally came, but there was immediately a mad rush for the already packed bus and obviously I didn't make it in time. So it was another ten minutes before the next came and I squeezed my way on immediately. Now, in future, if anyone wants to complain anymore about Singaporean traffic conditions or about packed buses or about rainy weather, don't tell it to my face because I will laugh at you. One hour went by on the bus and we only got through TWO bus stops. I was fortunate to be at a position where I'm not exactly pressed in from all sides, but obviously the other passengers were.

In the end, I decided to get off the bus and walk back to school. The next problem came, I'm not too sure where I am. So here I am on a wet, cold winter night, stuck with a heavy bag of shopping, along a street in a foreign country. I decided to just walk along the road. In the end, I saw the Zhongguancun area which is really close to school. Finally finding my direction I just walked like mad back to school. The walk back was forty minutes - and I was walking fast. The heeled boots were hurting my feet and the cold was getting in because I hadn't had dinner. I crossed crazy traffic with cars coming in from various sides. When I finally saw the familiar Beida gates in the near distance I was all: THANKGODTHANKGODTHANKGOD......

My small dorm room never felt more like home.

Anyway, I decided that I seriously had enough of cold weather rains. So this is a nice Saturday when I have the entire day to myself. Woke up in the morning and saw the wet windows. My immediate decision was that I will not make a single step out of the hostel building. I will settle my own lunch and dinner within the hostel.

Rainy weather in Singapore is 22-23 degree celsius, rainy weather here is 3-7 degrees. No, please don't tell me anything about how bad rain is in Singapore.

You can basically get out of jams in around an hour back home, but I have no idea how long I be stuck on that bus had I stayed on any longer. I won't think 3 hours is an exaggerated number.

心最后的归宿

重新相遇
在遥远的－－国度
认识一个
－－－－－－我许久没有认识的
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－你

小小迷惘
在寂静的－－夜里
猜测我们
－－－－－－最终故事未知的
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－谜底

可爱的你
让我渐渐平静的心底
再一次不经意
－－－－－－经历泪水的
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－洗礼

Goodbye My Love

My comp died yesterday and was given a new life today by the nice repairman lady. Needless to say, all my files in the hard drives are gone - thank God that I had the important documents backed up in a hard disk back at home. My Beijing files are mostly backed up in a thumb drive too, so there weren't any major losses. =)

What really died was the Tablet PC functions - Tabby is now just a normal Lappy - no more Tablet PC pen-touch nor the cool swirly things that we could do with its LCD screen. T___T Since this version of Microsoft XP on the comp is not a genuine copy, I couldn't download anything from the Microsoft site, not even Windows Media Player. Haiiiii~

But I'm still enjoying life =) Life is too good for computer breakdowns to spoil ^_^

后舍女生

Housewifey things and such

Now, I didn't imagine that it was going to be tough trying to locate floor cleaning solutions (FCS) around here. They don't sell it in the supermarts in school! I was told to "try looking in the big supermarkets" when I asked the people at the school supermarts.

Today I happened to be at the supermarket near my Granduncle's place, so I decided to go grab a bottle of the FCS. Just picture this: There are at least two shelves worth of dish cleaning detergent and at least a shelf of laundry detergent. But there are only two brands of FCS available, and they occupy just this miserable quarter of two shelf-rows. There are more brands of floor liquid wax than FCS, I realized, and floor waxing is pretty extravagant to me.

Nevertheless, I rejoiced over acquiring this precious bottle of FCS. One of the first few things I did after getting back to my hostel room was to mop the floor thoroughly. You've seen the photo (in this entry) of the amount of dust that could accumulate in a single week. I imagine I could finally have at least a few hours of dust-free room.

Speaking of dust - Beijing experienced its first sandstorm weather of the year a few days ago. It wasn't like I imagined - strong winds slapping sand against the window like rain - but rather mild. The sky was a greyish-yellow, and people complained of sand all over their bicycle seats. I went out anyway - actually it was because I didn't know what happened and didn't think that the gloomy sky was sandstorm weather. Hardly anyone wanted to go out in that weather so I actually shopped very happily at the book plaza near school - there were zero queues at the cashier counters, haha =) I might have breathed in some sand, but it's nothing I can detect visibly. Who'd imagine that sandstorm weather = happy book-shopping day?

Ah anyway last topic - I was going to complain about my miserable laundry experience but actually it's really insignificant. But I shall amuse myself by squeaking some about it. I was going to wash my clothes and realized that the washing machine that the Singaporean girls use is pushed out of the way. So I was all straining and suffering to pull the thing out of its washing machine clique just so that I could use it. There's this Korean lady who was there to watch her own laundry - she just stood there and watched me struggle for all of the ten minutes. I couldn't help but think: Is it too much for you to offer to help? It was a miserable thought because she watched me struggle with pushing another machine out of the way and did completely nothing. I mentally swore that I would offer to help anyone struggling with the machines, in future. And if you run into anybody struggling with heavy things - please don't assume that they don't need help just because they are not asking.

*Deep breath* I'm okay, really. My laundry is done, the floor sparkling clean, had a nice yoga workout and showered. On the whole, life is good. =)

燕园春晓

		I've been practicing Chinese calligraphy! This is one of the nicer words that I've written. =) I try to practice everyday, and yup my Dad's happy about that. I only had a few lessons when I was young and I didn't have the determination to practice writing. But in recent times I've felt the urge to write all the time, but haven't had the opportunity to do so until now. =)
		Brother Dongfeng writes poetry! His style is the type that I like very much *admires*. I went to his Listening Room at Jiaotong University yesterday and we talked at length again! Many thoughts, again, and I always think that I'm a re-thought person after talking to him. =)
		Strawberries! Aren't they just GORGEOUS? By the time you see this photo, they are all In My Stomach. =D I can assure you that they taste as wonderful as they look pretty. =)
		Spring has come to PKU! The yellow flowers are 迎春花, the pink flowers are peach blossoms 桃花. They are the earliest to bloom and look really pretty =)
		The one thing spectacular about this picture is that it is taken by my new friend - Honghua! She's a local student, and she's really friendly! We had lunch that day and she suggested we take a walk around Weiming Lake to see the spring scenery. Had a great time that day! I had contemplated putting up her picture, but thought it wouldn't be very nice to put her photo up without her permission. =) So you have my picture instead~~

善意的外国友人

中国这个民族一“大”二“人多”三“历史悠久”，这本是好事，却成了民族的包袱，只要有机会，就会陷入“中华中心主义”，鲁迅终身都对此保持高度的警惕，随时都在提醒（中）国人，要防止有人在“爱国”的旗号下，贩卖“中华中心主义”的私货，他们实际上是“爱亡国者”；对那些“希望中国永是一个大古董以供他们鉴赏”的所谓外国“友人”别有用心的“赞扬”，更要保持清醒。--钱理群《鲁迅作品十五讲》

从小对于中国总是怀有非常美好的印象。我读的东西都是什么呢？识字后不多久，父母就让我背诵优美的唐诗，小学时读的是中国古代英雄豪杰、帝王将相的故事，中国民间神话、传说、童话，甚至还有八、九十年代的中国儿童刊物，讲的都是解放军的英勇，学习雷锋精神，人民大团结的故事。为什么总有人以为我是中国人，我不怪他们。我只差没在中国长大，其实思想上很大部分是浸泡在中华文化当中孕育的。

不知从什么时候开始，我通过别人的故事、媒体的报道，渐渐看到原来中国也有自私自利麻木冷淡的人、害人的假货、恐怖的文化大革命、令人发指的阶层歧视…… 我看到的中国，特别是商场，成了一个巨大无比的鳄鱼谭—你要么成为一条大鳄鱼，要么就成为鳄鱼口中的那块鲜肉。

纵然这样说，我为什么还要认认真真的跑来北京，而且还是第三次来到？这是没有办法的，我无法摆脱这五千年来沉淀下来，隽永的文化遗产的美丽诱惑。我无法忘记北京城中可以见到的古老墙砖屋瓦，灰色的城市，古朴的湖岸边上的垂柳，灰蒙蒙的枯枝上结着的鸟巢。我更是一遍又一遍地往书局跑，去挖掘更多的书。但我挖掘的是什么书呢？诗经、论语正义；冰心、朱自清、泰戈尔、契诃夫、徐霞客；宗教史、中国史学史、清代史、中国近代史；翻译美学、翻译技巧、译海求珠……对于中国当今的流行作家我是不屑一顾的。我想，在我翻书的意识中，已经透露了我对于中国现状的一种逃避。

我应该就像鲁迅所警惕的那种，“希望中国永是一个大古董以供他们鉴赏”的所谓外国“友人”。我眼里喜爱的中国，仍然是清末以前悠久悠远的中国，甚至是五四时期前后的文学作品。我不愿意面对的，是现在的“新”中国。

似乎，我们这些外来的人，只能来这里吸收再吸收古老优美的中国文化文字，其余的、我们的看法我们的思想我们的信仰，全部不是很重要，甚至是被主流政治所排斥的。既然人民苦苦地学习英语，大冬天的早上六、七点已经有很多人在寒冷的户外学习着英语，为什么封闭博客网站，为什么封闭wikipedia.org，为什么英文书（外国出版的）贵得这么离谱，为什么对于所谓的“西方信仰”管制的那么严格。这么大的书局，英文部分只有些无关紧要的儿童故事、小说、明星逸闻、画册、建筑风格，重要的思想评论为什么少得可怜？

明白的人，你一看就明白发生了什么事，为什么会发生这样的事，我便不再多说。剩下的话只能心里说，就这样打住吧。

AskMeForDirections.Com

I realized that I have people asking me for directions every other day, sometimes a couple of times in the same day. It's perplexing, really. Do I really look like I know my way around very well? There's a reason why I carry a map around everyday you know. But actually the map's the saviour whenever anyone asks me for help.

I'm convinced that I either:
1) Have a sign over my head saying "Ask Me For Directions"; or
2) Have a notice pasted on my bag saying - "Ask her, she has a map"; or
3) Look like a local.
Somehow I'm reluctant to think that it might be the last case.

Xiaoyun said that it's 'cos I look "kind and approachable". Hmm.

光阴似箭

时间过得很快！就这样过了一个月，居然已经喜欢这种可以控制自己的时间、悠哉闲哉的日子。发现原来自己很家庭主妇，对打理房间的清洁原来可以这么认真，隔两三天就洗衣服，今天还换洗了床单，觉得很有成就感。这些事情在家里都是妈妈在做，就没有这个特别想要做家务的冲动。但当我有了这样一个完全属于我的空间，我忽然变得特别在意这个空间的打理。(Jieming remember the time you told me about you spending time to wash the toilet every week? I really can understand what you are talking about now.=))

Anyway, Beijing TV is currently screening this serial called 笑着活下去. I'm too lazy to describe the serial so I'll just share this link for anyone who really wants to know what it's all about. The male lead (Wenbang) is this common looking guy who is more than a decade older than the female lead (Yanyang). They went through many difficulties before devoting their lives to each other. He loves her in this quiet, strong way, lending her strength and protecting her. Yanyang is not a frail wall flower - she faces all adversities with a smile, and it is very moving to see how she has Wenbang as her loving, strong protector.

(Okay there was this big bit that I posted last night after that paragraph, but I've now transferred it to my private diary for personal consumption only. =) If you've already read it, it's okay, if you haven't, it's even better.)

Anyway, I just thought it was very cool when Wenbang stood up for his wife (Yanyang)'s sister-in-law who was abused by Yanyang's brother. Yanyang's brother Lu Jun is this horrible drunkard/compulsive gambler who vents his anger on his wife Wang Xiu all the time. Although Lu Jun bullies Yanyang and Wang Xiu, he is dead afraid of Wenbang.

Here's a part of the show I enjoy:
Lu Jun had accepted money that Yanyang's stepbrother had wanted to use to make Yanyang cut off relations with their mother. Yanyang realized that he could only be the only one who took the money after her stepbrother reminded her that she should honor her promise, since she "accepted his money". She begged him not to keep the money because kinship is the only thing that one should never sell. Wang Xiu then said that he does have the money on him. Lu Jun turned to beg Wenbang to let him use the money to repay his debts, because his debtors would kill him if he doesn't pay up.

文榜：这样吧，我给你想个办法。
陆军：真的吗？大哥，您愿意帮我？
文榜：你坐下。 (Starts looking for things around the house, picking up things like chairs, sticks and finally picking up a big dumbbell.)
文榜：我给你个办法，你自己选吧，要断胳膊还是断腿。讨债的看你残了，就不好意思再跟你要钱了。我的建议是先断胳膊 (grabs Lu Jun's arm) -
陆军：我想起来了！我忘了！放在这儿我忘了！(takes cheque out of his pocket)

Hmm I think the dialogue doesn't show much of what happened (and there are bits of the dialogue that I don't remember too ^^), but I thought Wenbang was darn cool. Haha. It was very satisfying to see the bad guy being intimidated so much and I also feel very happy for the kind Yanyang 'cos she has such a strong husband to shelter her. =)

因为我的病就是没有感觉

歌曲名：快让我在雪地上撒点野
歌手/词曲：崔健

我光着膀子 我迎着风雪
跑在那逃出医院的道路上
别拦着我 我也不要衣裳
因为我的病就是没有感觉
给我点儿肉 给我点儿血
换掉我的志如钢和毅如铁
快让我哭 快让我笑
快让我在这雪地上撒点儿野
YiYe YiYe
因为我的病就是没有感觉
YiYe YiYe
快让我在这雪地上撒点儿野

我没穿着衣裳 也没穿着鞋
却感觉不到西北风的强和烈
我不知道我是走着还是跑着
因为我的病就是没有感觉
给我点儿刺激 大夫老爷
给我点儿爱情 我的护士小姐
快让我哭 要么快让我笑
快让我在这雪地上撒点儿野

就这么一首歌，今天在曹文轩老师的课上让老师读了出来。现在正在听这首歌。说实话，我并不太喜欢这种风格的摇滚（本来就不喜欢摇滚乐），但歌词还是非常深刻的。我们的病就是没有感觉。歌词中是一个失去了感觉能力的病人，但现实中的我们虽然没有失去感觉的能力，却失去了我们的感觉。

我逐渐恐慌，因为我好像就快被这个茫然大土地的人吞噬了我纯净自我的感觉。侵袭我的是令我非常烦扰的负面感觉，而不是初来时的那种赤子般的喜悦平静。曾几何时我开始注意别人身上的穿着，过于在乎自己的打扮，曾几何时我开始冷眼地看待着周围也许不太坏的中国人，曾几何时我心中产生了轻蔑，曾几何时我开始抓不住那种温柔的爱的感觉。

我没有感觉吗？不是的，我无时无刻敏锐而犀利地感受自己内心的每一个波动。我恐慌于我内心的改变。

---

从来都是尊敬老人的，也从未想象过自己会对这样一个心地好而瘦小的老太太产生如此不耐烦的感觉。就这一点让我害怕，我到底要变成什么样的一个人。也许她说话经常是那么的不合时宜，也许她总是似乎没有一点儿自己的意见，也许她一直说自己的亲人如何殷勤的从事教会工作，自己本身退休后因为没人陪着她上教堂，就“懒得出门”了--连怎么搭公车到教堂去都不太记得…… 我怎么想也不太明白自己为什么可以对别的老人的叨叨絮絮怀着长时间的耐心，却只是很冷漠地用“嗯”来回应她所说的话。

是和她不熟吗？我和不认识的老人都能谈上两三个钟头的话。是当时心情不好吗？可为什么我见到我的叔公婶婆，心情就好很多？是因为她在信仰上不坚定吗？我想，也许是的。但实际上，我有什么资格像那些虚伪的法利赛人一样看到别人的罪，没有看见自己的过犯？难道，我就不能体谅她是一个怯懦、容易被欺负的老人，独自上街对她来说也许真的很不安全？我甚至不敢问她，您是否还有读圣经，您是否还有祷告，您是否知道您的信仰到底是什么，您的信仰到底是因为您相信还只是因为你至亲的人信得那么深？

她信仰的不坚定，我觉得并不构成我对她态度不好的全部理由。然而我还是无法理解自己心中那种不平、烦躁的感觉。

我的痛苦，不来自没有感觉，来自于无法理解自己的感觉。

---

已经有两夜，梦见远在家乡的你。
原来，感觉可以纷纷扰扰，一个人所带给我的感觉，却是挥之不去的。
原来，即使周围蜂蝶围绕，挥之不去的还有曾经点水而过的那只蜻蜓。

怎么还让我如此思念，怎么还让我如此难忘。
也许你已经开始忘记我，就别让我知道你还牵挂着努力想忘记你的我。

Went home!

Went back to my Granduncle's place for the weekend! Here are some interesting discoveries:

(Click to enlarge) "Wet One's Whistle Candies"!


A pair of crooked-mouth fish =) It's quite interesting how both are malformed the same way. There's another small Angel fish in another tank that is blind in one eye. My Granduncle likes malformed fish?

Aaaaand guess who's the babe in town?!

My uncle's one year old baby girl!! Her name is Yu Xuan (雨萱 - pretty name!) but everyone calls her Diu Diu （丢丢）XD which means "tiny". Diu Diu baobei is the darlingest thing!! In her photo her eyes look a bit swollen, 'cos she just finished one hour (plus) of wailing. She's recovering from a really bad case of flu, you see, and is still a little sick. Plus her mommy went home to fetch some things and she got scared when she couldn't find mommy. Everyone panicked when she cried without stopping, haha, my Grandaunt (Diu Diu's grandma) was so dismayed that she actually accidentally burnt the food she's cooking. After mommy came back and fed her, she stopped crying - and is the most peaceful and sweet baby - so much that you'd never guess she sent four adults into panic mode less than 20 minutes ago. Did I say she's the darlingest baby ever? Her cheeks are so rosy and plump that anyone who carries her can't help kissing her. Her eye lashes are really long (you can't tell from the pic) and curls upwards - so pretty! I actually feel like going back to my Granduncle's place every weekend just to increase my chances of popping over to Diu Diu's place (or have her come over) ^__^



Haha that's the end of my Diu Diu rave, maybe I'll write more next time I see her ^o^

Oh after I went back to the dorm I did laundry and swept the floor. This is a picture of one week's worth of dust:

You'd think I hadn't cleaned the room since I moved in, but truth is I sweep the floor every week. It's so terribly dusty here that when I 擤鼻涕 there's a lot of dirt in the mucus. *shudders* I hope the air back home in Singapore is better. I can't wait for the relatively much cleaner air and the humidity at home!

It's Strawberry Season!

At the recommendation of the very nice Jiatian, I went to the “综合服务部” of the school and bought STRAWBERRIES! Good ones! I bought a little more than 600g of them for RMB 10 (approx SGD 2) and f.i.n.i.s.h.e.d. them all in a day, in fact, within three hours XD

Actually on my way back to the dorm I was thinking that I should take photos of these gorgeous red gems to put on the blog for you people to drool over a bit, but nature somehow took its course... I washed the strawberries, gave some to Jiatian who was there, went back to the room, ate half of the load and finished the other half just a while ago. *Most satisfied smile*

Strawberries are real expensive in Singapore, and not sweet, right? These strawberries here may not be as big, but they are redder, riper and the sweetness just permeate the surrounding air they exist in. If there's a way to capture smell in digital space I would send it over just to prove just how strawberry-ish my room smells right now.

I will take pictures next time. XD

For anyone who might miss me XD

大口吃

炸酱面和拌饭，一个原产中国，一个原产韩国，有几个共同点：
1）都是我爱吃的；
2）做法很简单，几种食料和酱料掺在一起就可以吃了；
3）可以吃得很爽快，混在一起大口地吃，不用东挑西捡的，很方便；
4）饿慌了的时候是绝佳美食=D

Peking Picturesque

Okay time for more pictures!

I should really have an online album, but then I don't feel like spending all my time uploading all these pictures and let any Ah Beng, Ah Seng, Ah Heng take my photos, so you'll just have to make do with these sneak previews and wait till I come home XD


This be a view of the school library taken from one of the classroom windows!


Outside the Chinese department! Pretty Xiaoyun took that picture for me!


Outside view of Shaoyuan, where I live!


Statue of Cervantes - the guy who wrote "Don Quixote"

Changes that we gotta make

This is what I told kau in an email: Coming here has forced me to change many things, including the way I feel about people and the way I do things.

In the past I didn't enjoy going out for lunch with people, unless I consider them very, very close friends. And that pool of people is getting smaller and smaller. Now, I perpetually have meals with people every day. There's a pressing need to stay in touch with the friends here because it felt that they are all the contact I might have in the big, lonely school. I start to understand why there are those who need to meet up with people all the time.

I had been very inflexible about my times, and I need to have my schedule set at least 6 to 12 hours before. If someone told me about a sudden change in plans, I'd be irate. But change is what we gotta deal with everyday, over here. You never know just who will back out of your plan or whose plan you are backing out on. You can never be sure about meeting with someone until that person shows up before you. I found myself readily changing plans nowadays. I try not to back out of anyone's plans, but I learn to accept people disrupting my plans. This world is too big and too complex for everything to go according to my plans.

I hadn't been very good at handling people who are of different faiths, which is interesting since I only believed not too long ago. But here I gradually started to learn that it is a personal choice for someone to accept Christ. I can introduce Christ to someone, but there shouldn't be any hard feelings if that person doesn't understand who He is or doesn't accept Him. I am learning about what it means to love people, even people who are not lovable. I am learning about holding my judgments on someone before I really know that person. I have doubts about some people I meet, but I am learning to give them the benefit of the doubt.

It's been just two weeks. I bet there'd be so much more that would be changed later.